Memory Lane

Mine Is Drawn Out For You

How are you? What’s up? How’s it going? What’s happening? You alright?

Don’t answer that. It’s just a greeting. Common verbal variations of “hello” really don’t work when you write them down, do they? If you’re obviously overcome with grief, fighting for your life, or carrying a loved one to safety as fire licks at your heels it’s safe to say that I won’t use any of those greetings when I see you. I do hope you’re ok, though. If you’re reading this, perhaps “ok” can be assumed.

What have I been doing? Going down memory lane, at least the physical one that is paved with comics. Mentally, going down memory lane can be tricky because I’ve said and done some eye-watering, headache-inducing things that are caked in embarrassment. I hate forgetting the details of events, but sometimes it’s good to forget the details. That’s where friends and family come in. They come at you with forgotten details and their battle cry is “Never forget!”

You might not remember every stupid thing you’ve done, but your best friend will. I don’t need a memory. I have a Jim. Jim has been my greatest friend since the beginning of recorded time. He can tell you many, if not all, of the stupid things I have done in my life. He also, bless him, held onto numerous copies of comics that I made and subsequently lost. I am preparing to scan those copies so that the nation, maybe even the world, can say, “Wow, he really wasn’t that good back then.”

So my memory lane is kind of a physical place. I look back at old comics and see all of those little details that I’ve forgotten. This week I’m sharing a batch of forgotten memories that cast me in a non-stupid light. It wasn’t easy.

This is a very early strip about retail. It’s so early that I forgot to draw Penny’s glasses. She didn’t always have glasses. She started wearing them more and more as I started wearing them more and more. Funny how that works.

Harvey used to be the star of the comic. I don’t know if he was supposed to be me, but he sure said a lot of the things I said. After reading this again, I remember saying this. I always eat healthily and get good sleep when I’m sick, so I know I can do it. Too late.

I remember loving this comic. Two little, singing tea cups. That’s extremely cute and I stand by that opinion. Today I draw the always-silent coffee cup Charlie. Back then it was a fully animated cup.

Pandemic Penny. This was based on me slipping into my work voice and being called on it. Anybody who regularly deals with the public can accidentally do this with their family, frequently when explaining things or issuing orders. It’s a horrible side effect from dealing with the public.

This would possibly be interesting to other cartoonists, but I still like it. I remember drawing this when I was supposed to be designing a newspaper ad, hence the reason it’s more of an elaborate doodle. I think I used a Sharpie on copy paper, which is more Presidential equipment these days, but back then it was not anything one would seriously use to make a comic.

I used to break away from my characters to do a joke using other life forms. I really liked this worm and I remember this strip being pretty popular. I’m not sure how a worm would sit at a breakfast table, but he’s really trying in that first panel. He’s obviously despondent that he can’t pick up his coffee.

This was popular and about as controversial as I ever got. The problem with having a popular comic on the internet are the thieves that do whatever they want with it. Someone stripped out my dialog and replaced it with their own, which was even more wordy and preachy. They also cropped out my signature, of course. Thieves do that with every cartoonist they “share”. Share the whole thing or don’t share at all, I always say. The altered version was also popular, which was frustrating. At least it wasn’t an essay attributed to me. That’s the reverse. If you ever see some essay attributed to a celebrity, Morgan Freeman is a popular choice, never believe it.

This comic was made because someone asked me if I believed in god and I asked “Which one”. That immediately shocked and upset them, the thought of a multiple choice answer being the upsetting part. If they’re asking the question, they usually have a particular god in mind.

I also used to break away from my characters and draw talking flowers. I think flowers could have interesting conversations.

Amazingly, this comic hasn’t aged at all. I could easily see Berle running for office. Maybe he has.

Pandemic Tabby. She used to be more outwardly goofy. This was based on me finding a puppet in the children’s room at the library and using it to answer a patron’s question. My coworkers were used to me by then, so it was just a normal workday.