Last July

Looking Good In Retrospect

I have to forget about my own comics in order to enjoy them. After I make a comic, all I see are ways to make it better. But it’s a daily strip and there’s no time for regret. The best way to look back with a fresh eye is to let time do its thing and allow my brain fill up with other thoughts. Then I can read what I wrote without predictive text.

Amazingly, I can appreciate what I made.

The internet forces creators to develop a skin that’s thicker than whatever Wolverine’s claws are made out of, but the truth is that no online troll can compete with my own thoughts. I’ve been surprised by what pleases people, mostly because my own approval is the toughest one to get. So if you’re thinking of putting your own material out there, my advice is to just let it flow, man. Chances are, you don’t even know what you like.

Besides, what’s the worst that can happen? Someone complains? Work with customers. Online complaints will seem like nothing after that.

Once you gather up a nice, little stack of work you can look back and say, “Oooh, that wasn’t bad.”

I did this with some strips from last July.

This was a revisited though from a strip I did years ago. Yeah, it’s not heavy, it’s awkward. You know what? After adjusting a box 59 times in three minutes, it always becomes heavy.

Ah, the green light! Customers do this. They know they’ve done it. They’re practically waving a flag. They’ve crossed a line because they know that they’re leaving unhappy. They just want to take a bite out of you first.

The best response is to just stop talking to them. They want a reaction from the interaction, and there is no purpose to give them the satisfaction. Buh bye.

Coworkers do this. They know you’re good at saying no, so you become the No Person. Nobody likes saying no, especially the people who hired you. They hired you because they sure as hell don’t want to be out there saying no to people. So they slyly hand you the rules, some of which starts with, “Under no circumstances….” and then they go back to their office.

If they customer doesn’t like being told no, they may go to the people who hired you and complain. Then you will be told that you didn’t say no correctly. Your manager will then tell you the best way to say no and “coach” you. It all sounds so much better because, of course, there’s no actual customer present as they coach you, but mark my words that if you ever catch that manager being forced to tell a customer no it will sound pretty darn close to the way that you said no.

There’s no good way to say no to somebody who wants something they can’t have, because no matter how many “unfortunatelys” you toss in there to dress up your sentence, no means no.

I believe “THRIVE” was the name of actual performance reviews that I had to give. I completely glossed over the name, the bullet points, and whatever philosophy they were trying to espouse while giving the reviews. Whoever the HR marketing wannabe that came up with the name THRIVE was never tried to say it to an employee with a straight face.

Based on a real conversation. During my time a several companies, I’ve been told how I could advance far, so very far, up the company ladder if I just devoted my life to my job. They didn’t phrase it that way, of course, but if they listened to what they were saying, that was indeed what they were saying.

So I don’t have a big house with the swimming pool as a result. It’s ok. I don’t swim and it doesn’t sound like I would have any time to keep up or truly enjoy a big house while spending all of my time at work.

I think these reviews should be two-sided. Let’s talk about the company. No, not some boring company statement, let’s talk about the personalities of the people at the top. That’s way more interesting because they’re always crazy. They’d have to be crazy to work those hours.

Many jobs go through these lengthy review processes for the reward of a very small raise. They’re not dangling a carrot in front of you, it’s just a string. If you continue to work hard, there may be a carrot on the end of the string one day.

What’s worse than oversleeping because you forgot you were working? Ah, showing up to work when you could’ve been sleeping.

I’ve known people who’ve done this, but I’ve never done it. Believe me, if I’m off work every fiber in my being knows it.

What if you’ve had fun at work? It does happen. Some people, let’s face it, have fun jobs, but most people would never replace an enjoyable day at work with getting off of work. Getting off of work is better than Disneyland.

I liked this guy and I’ve featured him before, here. I liked him so much that I can’t remember his name, but the point is that I didn’t think people would like this strip because they wouldn’t remember the Jolly Green Giant.

I was wrong. They remembered.