Work Work Work

Break Break Break

That’s it, I’m taking a break. It feels like I work non-stop. I ping from one thing to another and never have any real relaxation, you know? If I watch a TV show, it’s because I’m mostly listening to it while working. Crazy, right? No more! This is a real break.

Welcome to my break! Whew, last week went on forever. I’m glad to finally take some time, kick back, and write about comics. Of course, I can’t afford one of those fancy writing cruises that Amy Tan can afford. This is me in my row boat.

I gave an unfair description. Comics aren’t work for me. They’re meditation. Reading comics, like any good fiction, is joyful and calming. Making them is equally so, only with the brief hiccups of anger that you get while creating in any art form. Nobody continues their creative meditation unbroken after accidentally dropping a dipped paint brush on their carefully crafted canvas, but the anger dissipates after they start painting again.

I always tell people that the key is to have fun. You want to relax? Have fun. Relaxing is fun. How can it not be in today’s distraction-heavy existence? You want to build a fence? Have fun. You might be learning something new or making an area for your dog to run around in. That’s fun. You want to paint the Mona Lisa? Obsessively nitpick over every detail for a decade and a half, then consider it unperfected on your death bed. But have fun.

Having fun seems like such a simple mindset, but it was never there while I was in college. Sure, a lot of kids ran around naked, drunk, and screaming throughout college. I don’t know directly, but I think it’s safe to assume they had fun. I did not. College was expensive. I wasn’t a finance major, but I’m pretty certain that anything you buy in early adulthood that is potentially paid off in late middle age is expensive. That’s a lot of pressure. I thought, “By god I better make something of this experience or I’ll be reminded of this failure with every monthly bill for the rest of my years with decent knees.” Fun times, right?

No. I had to learn how to have fun after college while at work. Work taught me more than college. I’ve often thought I took the long route to work through college, but I’m glad I went. I learned about the futility of over-seriousness. And deferments. I learned so much about deferments, which was a word that was not in my vocabulary before my academic studies forced me, through strength-building exercises such as poverty, to learn it and learn it well.

Sigh. Memories. May they remain distant. Hey, is break time over? Awwwww. Thank you for joining me. We’re doing this again sometime, yes?

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I tend to personify all technological devices. I did this before AI was a real threat. I know that, technically, my alarm doesn’t have a job and does not feel or care that it did not wake me up. But I could be wrong. Better make sure I’m asleep so it doesn’t feel useless.

This was based on my real life with a real worldwide corporation, so I was delighted that some commenter on Instagram wrote, “I’ve had six jobs after college and none of them have made me use up my vacation at the end of the fiscal year!” Then he went down and rephrased the same thought under other comments. “Yeah, right! I’ve never had to use up my vacation this way. And I’ve had six jobs since graduating college!” Aside from the repetition, the insinuation that I was full of yesterday’s fecal matter irritated me. Maybe it was one of my “not enough sleep” days and I was easily irritated. I thought of several clever responses along the lines of, “Good for you pal, but it ain’t so with me! And I’ve had a million jobs since graduating college!” Thankfully my inner Tabby emerged and I said nothing. Neither did he. He’s blocked and deleted.

Readers liked this one, but I don’t think anyone liked this more than me. I seldom laugh at myself, but “steep when slanted” killed me. The trick is to be so tired that my own brain seems to be going without my conscious help. I have no idea where that came from. It’s a practical warning, though.

I’ve had too many discussions about inflation. After all of the talking, I would like to tell you that I’m now an expert on the subject. Surprisingly, constant anecdotal conversations have yielded no real knowledge.

People are still commenting on this one. There are the retail workers who have very strong opinions about this joke and there are customers who are irritated that the retail workers are irritated about this joke. It really is the joke that divides the staff from the customers. Let’s try to come up with a different joke.

Being cute and young will have people questioning your authority. If you’re tall and somewhat menacing, you’ll have a leg up as a representation of leadership. You could be as dumb as a lobotomized squirrel, but as long as you’re not as cute as one you could be management material.

Some people who are angry that they can’t find something they’re standing next to are able to laugh at themselves. Some. Many others are determined to remain angry.

Many people want to be a manager for the money. It’s my contention that it’s more logical to desire the position for the parking space. The money isn’t worth it, but depending on where you work the parking space might be.

Todd and Shelby weren’t meant for each other, but they did happen to work together. Many relationships blossom and die at their place of employment.

Todd makes his bed and is surprised that he has to lie in it. Aren’t we all, Todd.