Tabnam

The Dark Clerk Rises

It’s freezing in my part of the world. I’m not frozen, not yet, but the world is actively trying to freeze me. If it weren’t for electricity I’d be dead, no question about it. Nature would kill me if it had its way. I don’t know how to make fire. I’d freeze before I could tell a piece of flint from a piece of gravel. Thankfully, smarter people came before me and my ability to stay warm depends on my ability to pay a bill, which is why I’m learning how to identify and use flint. Just in case.

Still, I did face nature like the fool that I am. I walked to the gas station, which is a little ironic considering that the main purpose of a gas station is to provide what is needed for driving, but I walked. I got my Slurpee, or whatever, and walked back. I’ve been recovering ever since. You see, it snowed up to my knees about a week ago and it hasn’t melted. I know it snowed up to my knees because the public sidewalks are not cleared here. Apparently I’m the only tax paying pedestrian in my area and a hop to the gas station is literal hopping. I think I left my feet about a block away, but I’ll go back and get them in the spring.

The gas station was amazingly clean considering that customers were dragging in snow every five seconds. The clerks there were doing an amazing job. They may have been a tad grumpy, but they are forgiven. The station is open 24 hours here and the fun never stops.

There’s either everybody or nobody at the gas station. When there’s everybody, the job is to help the person in front of you and occasionally race from behind the counter for a typical customer emergency, like someone just dropped five large fountain drinks and flooded half of the store. When there’s nobody, the clerk has to clean, maintain, and stock the store. Then they have to be worried about thieves and lunatics. If you see them being extra nice and cheerful to the local police, there’s a good reason for that. I don’t know what type of person has a successful career at a gas station, I just know that they’re better than me.

You know who could help a gas station? Tabnam.

This gag was in my head for well over a year. I’m glad I remembered it. Some readers finally noticed that Tabby’s hair resembles a cat. She does have a nice silhouette. This really should be the usual way to signal for help at a store. Everyone would know that help is needed and it could be a symbol of hope.

There really are superheroes that work in stores. They may not have cool costumes, but the staff knows who they are. They especially know when it’s the superhero’s day off, because that’s when the big emergencies happen.

I looked at a random 1950s Batman comic to get Tabby’s pose right. I read a lot of superhero comics growing up, but I was never interested in actually drawing them. I was always interested in funny comics. There can be a lot of humor in superhero comics, but it’s never about the colorful spandex and that’s the funniest part.

This went on longer than I originally intended, but I couldn’t resist giving Tabby a costume. I don’t think that a colorful costume would deter a truly violent criminal, but I do think it would be effective against a customer.

Several readers thought the boss should’ve been sent to HR for saying Tabby looked cute in her costume. As sensitive as I am about sexual harassment, I didn’t think that would make the cut, at least in my area. I hear the word cute all of the time regarding clothing, but I’m not in HR. If Tabby doesn’t like it I’ll back her one hundred percent when she makes that complaint, not that she needs it. The boss will be toast.

I missed Rusty, so I checked in on him and his one liners.

And I brought back Susie from Ogle Mobile. The people making sales pitches to unsuspecting customers are still lurking about and they still drive me crazy. It’s difficult to ever put a sympathetic spin on Susie.

Remaining indifferent has always been my Achilles heel. Now, in googling Achilles to make sure I spelled it correctly, I learned that the autocomplete adds the word tendon before it suggests heel. Sadly, the body part has become more popular than the Greek myth. Or is it sad? Either way, that’s your tidbit of trivia for today.

As popular as Tabnam was, this comic was even more popular. Apparently a lot of people grew up while being forced to eat liver and they had strong opinions on the matter. Some people liked liver, but the anti-liver crowd was significantly larger. I had no idea this was a hot button issue.

I was not forced to eat liver as a child, so when I had liver I really liked it. I thought it was great. I even started eating liverwurst. The older I got, I started thinking more about the liver and what it does for the body and my desire to eat it significantly dropped.

I brought back this crazy customer, but I don’t think I made her crazy enough in this strip. In real life this person has been around forever and I think she’s enjoying her life, but man is she off her rocker at times.