Personalities

The best, annoying, dullest, or worst part of everything.

I don’t care what your job is, if you’re not working with interesting personalities things can really drag. By interesting, I don’t mean that you have a boss with a very interesting narcissistic personality disorder. I mean that you have people around you that make you want to come into work. Some people, and you know who I’m talking about, are like a novel. You can’t wait to see what happens next.

There are also dull novels, of course.

Almost every “professional” job I’ve had were staffed with people so dull that they had their own gravitational pull. I could feel all interesting qualities being drawn out of me into their black hole of a personality until I would ultimately possess the characteristics of a stenographer in an old courtroom drama, with nothing to say as I typed.

I put quote marks around the word professional because it’s the snootiest adjective we attach to jobs. Someone might say, “I don’t want to be a janitor! I want a professional position!” and “professional” might be a category on a job site, but make no mistake that being a janitor is a professional position.

To figure out if your job is a professional one, just take this simple quiz:

Do you get paid to do it?

If the answer is yes, congratulations! You’re a professional! Taking out the trash at home might be an occasional hobby, but once you’re paid to do it, you’re in the biz.

Nobody chooses to work in retail. They wind up there. The how and the why of their circumstances can be pretty interesting because they are pretty interesting and everybody has a story to tell. You’ll never be bored.

This shocked me. I forgot that I gave April Bloom the last name of Day. I forgot the name of one of my children! Whatshername Bloom.

This was her first appearance. April Bloom is a conglomerate of personalities that has bubbled around me my whole life. Many readers initially thought she was like the character Janice on Friends, but that wasn’t my intention. So I made her more Southern.

She doesn’t say “Y’All” though because I hate “Y’All”. My mother was born and raised in Mississippi and she gave me permission to say that. I have a note.

There’s always a cashier who has a lengthy conversation with each and every customer. You may shop at a store with such a cashier. You may work at a store with this kind of cashier. You could even, god help you, be that cashier.

They are usually loved by all except some who have to work with them and others who are waiting in line. I still have no idea whether they annoy me or I think they are wonderful people. It’s a big ball of confusion.

These personality types frequently organize pitch ins, which is how we say the word potluck in my part of the country.

Sorry for the confusion.

I worked at a place where everyone brought in elaborate dishes. I offered to bring two liter bottles of soda, and they all thought that was swell because I was the poorly paid graphic artist.

The head of finance, one of the guys who made the most at the company, brought in a single box of Ding Dongs.

This is one of the few times I have shown April Bloom upset. It’s kind of like seeing Bigfoot.

This is an exact description of what my boss did to me when I was an Assistant Manager. Every day.

I know I’ve posted this comic before, but this is so Tabby. In real life it was me when I worked at the library. The person didn’t laugh.

Libraries are wonderful.

I went through four district managers in one year at my last job. The person who wound up staying was weird enough to keep it.

The boss in this comic doesn’t come from one particular inspiration. He represents many weary bosses I’ve had who always have an eye on their approaching retirement. Their ability to be enthused about anything is permanently disabled.

I guess that’s a personality trait.

Today, a big part of any customer service job is helping people operate the company app. Most apps suck and most customers are confused for a pretty good reason, but there are a few who should just use there phone to make calls and leave it at that.

The permanently perky cashier versus the permanently grumpy customer! Who will win? Will it ever conclude? Will one have to die?

There are no clear answers, but it’s always the permanently perky cashier. In the end, she will still have a job while the customer will not have whatever she is complaining about.

I have no idea where I got “grumpy lima bean” from, but good lord that needs to catch on.